"And Finally, the Handbrake"

[shivver]

Title: "And Finally, the Handbrake"
Fandom(s): Doctor Who
Characters: Eleventh Doctor, Amy Pond
Pairing(s): None
Rating: G
Genre: General
Word Count: 316

Summary: Amy urges the Doctor to just give in to the inevitable...

Author's Notes: Written in answer to a concept my husband posed to me tonight, and then I realized the story fit both the Flash Fan Fiction Friday for Literary Fan Fiction at deviantArt (prompt: "Inconsistencies") and the one-shot contest for who_contest at LiveJournal (prompt: "Release"). Three birds, pop!


As the TARDIS tumbled into the time vortex, Amy sauntered around the console and murmured in the Doctor’s ear, “So, Doctor. Why won’t you just release the handbrake?”

Hunched over to check the calibration of the gravitic anomaliser, he barely turned his head to reply, “Why would I, Pond?”

She stepped back, thrusting a hand at the column rising to the ceiling above them. “So that the time rotor stops making that horrible noise!”

Jerking back like he’d been slapped, the Doctor turned a hurt look at his companion. “Why would I want it to stop making that noise? I love that noise!”

“It’s like you have an elephant stuck in there!” She nudged his arm with a fist. “Really, Doctor, I think you just like it because it’s loud and bothers everyone, don’t you?”

Whirling on his heel, the Doctor clapped his hands together and leaned forward to explain himself clearly. “Amy, all TARDISes make that noise. Always have. The handbrake has nothing to do with it. It’s off, for your information. I always release it. The TARDIS won’t take off with it on.”

“But River said…” she protested, but he cut her off by grasping her shoulders.

“Amy.”

“What?” she replied, meeting his gaze with wide, questioning eyes.

He spoke very slowly and clearly. “Do you remember what River told you?”

She continued to stare straight into his eyes. “She’s told me a lot of things.”

“But there’s one thing she’s told you,” he stated, squeezing her shoulders for emphasis, “one thing that’s so very important. The Doctor lies.”

A smirk slowly spread across Amy’s face as she thought she understood. “Come on, Doctor. Just release the handbrake.”

“No. You don’t get it.” He nodded at her, and she felt compelled to mimic the bob. “When Professor River Song tells you, ‘The doctor lies,’ why do you think she’s necessarily talking about me?”

Comments

[dm12.livejournal.com]

That never quite made sense to me either. A handbrake is meant to prevent something from going anywhere, and I'm sure the TARDIS has more sense than to try and move when it's on....

Besides, Amy, that noise is the one that gives everyone hope... when the TARDIS arrives, smart enemies flee.

[shivver13.livejournal.com]

Well, and Ten specifically releases the handbrake (which is where the title of the story comes from). We've just always hated that line (in addition to River being better at flying the TARDIS). At least Moffat has admitted that the line was a mistake and he wishes it never happened.

[dm12.livejournal.com]

Exactly... Ten knew to release the handbrake, specifically mentioned it, and she still groaned during dematerialization.

I'm not sure why the TARDIS was quiet for River, maybe she didn't like River and this was her way of protesting? It really was a stupid thing to put in, meant to make River seem all perfect, better than the Doctor even, and I for one didn't like it, or the smug attitude that went along with that comment. A so-called fan should never have made that mistake, but at least he admitted it...

[shivver13.livejournal.com]

Well, we'll never know, but my headcanon involves the TARDIS stealth mode. That makes the TARDIS silent, so perhaps River just put it into partial stealth mode just to irritate the Doctor.

[dm12.livejournal.com]

Ah, stealth mode... that could explain things, a bit. The Doctor apparently doesn't like stealth mode; he loves to make a big entrance, doesn't he?

[shivver13.livejournal.com]

That's certainly a very Eleven trait, at the very least! But I think full stealth mode is very difficult, not something to do every day.

[alumfelga.livejournal.com]

At least Moffat has admitted that the line was a mistake and he wishes it never happened.
Oh, has he? I thought he still thinks his each and every idea was brilliant. Maybe one day he'll apologize for the glasses...

I have t admit I quite liked that joke, even if it doesn't make sense :)

[rose-cat.livejournal.com]

Ha ha! Brilliant :D Why would the Doctor leave the handbrake on, anyway? He's not stupid.

I don't agree, though, that all TARDISes make that noise. The TARDIS was in the shop, after all! (This from somebody who's been driving a 1987 VW Golf for twenty-six years. And I love her, noises and all :) )

[shivver13.livejournal.com]

Thanks! This was a fun little piece to write, especially because it was just a throwaway conversation and I whipped this up in about a half an hour. :)

All the non-Doctor TARDISes that have been seen in the show make that noise, including the Master's TARDIS. Even the War Chief's SIDRATs made a variation of the noise.

[alltimeandspace.livejournal.com]

I think the noise is very personal to the Doctor. The mad man in the cranky old box is the story he's been telling people since he ran from Gallifrey.

The Master's always ran silent, which says a lot I think. :D

[but_can_i_be_trusted]

I've heard the Master's TARDIS make the whooshy noise. ("The whooshy noise"...there goes any knack I might have for description straight out the window, lol.)

[alltimeandspace.livejournal.com]

It's pops on occasion, like a bubble bursting.

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

LOL, yes, Dr. Song must lie all the time!

[shivver13.livejournal.com]

Oh, absolutely! She is all about subterfuge and guile.

[a-phoenixdragon.livejournal.com]

LOL!! That is perfectly true! She never did specify WHICH doctor would be lying at any given time. *Grins*

This...was AWESOME.

[shivver13.livejournal.com]

Thank you! My husband said that if nothing else, River had to be lying about the noise, and I thought, "Well, of course she is! She says as much - we just don't realize it!" :)

[angelus2hot]

Well done!

[shivver13.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[scripsi.livejournal.com]

“When Professor River Song tells you, ‘The doctor lies,’ why do you think she’s necessarily talking about me?”


LOL, yes, why indeed?