Not Untamed, But Childish

Joan Crawford’s all-talkie debut, Untamed, begins as a drama with music set in South America, then makes a choppy transition to a society romance in which the lovers are reconciled only after she attempts to murder him. The film’s tone shifts with every new scene. At no time does any character in Untamed resemble any human being who ever lived, but its flamboyant unreality gives the film a vaguely comic, unintentional charm.

-Scott Eyman, The Speed of Sound

So I watched it for the madness.

It was something alright.

It is all over place, with a dash of South American exoticism. They're acting as if South America (as a monolith) is the anals of hell, dear lord.

Anyway, wow this lady sounds a lot like Joan Crawford, I thought in the first five seconds. You doofus, she is Crawford! And this is how I learn that she was in The Unknown. I saw her onscreen way before I saw her in Mildred Pierce. Fuck my stupid baka brain.

See, the thing that I could not take from this movie, which sadly made it more painful than funny, was that her character (B-I-N-G-O, and Bingo was her name-o) was supposed to be naive, but came across childish. And it wasn't Crawford's fault (this was her first talkie, she still sounds a bit Southern even), but the writing's. And it's not even in a teenager way, she acts like she's five years old.

And then pulls a 180 and she acts like she's ten when we get to the high-society bit.

I did guffaw at the improvised boxing match, and how willing Bingo was to punch people she didn't like.

The Artist

From an early talkie, to a late silent (really late, 2011).

I had to rewrire my brain for this one. It's not supposed to emulate a silent film, but to be a modern silent. It's not supposed to be historically accurate, but to be like Singin' in the Rain, grabbing the myth and twisting it to tell its story.

Because it was filmed on digital, and the camera acts very modern, and the acting is still very modern talkie.

Afterwards, I was on board. At the end of the day, it's a celebration, of the silents, of the talkies (musicals), of melodrama. And I had a blast.

It's weird, because it won so many awards and it didn't create this wave of modern silent movies. Like La La Land didn't create a wave of musicals. Sigh.

And it has a top tier dog. Such a good boy. Deserves all the pats.