I just don't know what to think
May. 5th, 2026 12:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shivverMother's Day is coming up, so my husband and I were talking this morning about ordering something to send to his mother, and he told me something that I still can't get over.
Mom-in-law loves decorative items. I'd say tchotchkes, but it's more than just cheap little things. Her house is filled with all kinds of things, from crystal vases to Faberge eggs (not real ones, just enameled eggs), a collection of ceramic houses from Europe, glass perfume bottles, and much more. She also loves cats, so her TV room is decorated entirely with cat figurines, prints, cross-stitches, throw pillows, etc.
Note, all of this stuff was store-bought or received as gifts. MIL is not a creative type, preferring to spend her time reading, gardening, and watching TV. Most of the handmade items, like the cross-stitch cats and the framed drawings and paintings, came from her sister (who is a huge creative -- her Christmas cards are always handmade and beautiful) or her aunt.
Most of the gifts we send her are either decorative items or jewelry (she loves her jewelry), but last October, when we got home from visiting her, I suggested that I make a sparkly diamond art cat for her to put up in her TV room and send it to her for Christmas, in addition to the usual gift. My husband thought it was a great idea, so I ordered the kit (this one in specific) and spent a few hours (three or four sessions of one to two hours apiece) to make it. I sent it off, and then my husband ordered an enamel egg off Amazon for her real gift.
So today, as we were talking about what to get for Mother's Day, my husband told me that MIL, when she'd called to thank us for it, had said that the diamond art cat was pretty but she was upset that I had made it for her instead of sending her the kit for her to put together herself. Then, she received the egg a couple of days later and was happy with that.
And I'm still just going "What???" about it. Frankly, I'm insulted. She actually values the kit itself more than she appreciates the time and effort I put into making something for her.
And who looks at something that someone's made for them and thinks, "They shouldn't have done that. They should have let me do it." It reminded me of a beaded box that her sister made and sent us for Christmas about ten years ago. It was gorgeous, but I didn't think, "I could do that myself -- she should have just sent us the beads and instructions." What I actually did was put the box in the display case and then go buy a book on beaded boxes to learn how to do it myself.
Anyway, my husband has decided to send her a diamond art kit for Mother's Day. And you know, I bet she will never put it together. As I said, she's not a creative type, and the only creative endeavor we've ever seen her attempt -- adult coloring books -- she abandoned after an hour and sent the book and the pencils to me.
Urgh, I'm more upset about this than I really should be. I should go off and practice for the DWFO. But I'll tell you what I won't be doing, ever: making another thing for my MIL.
Mom-in-law loves decorative items. I'd say tchotchkes, but it's more than just cheap little things. Her house is filled with all kinds of things, from crystal vases to Faberge eggs (not real ones, just enameled eggs), a collection of ceramic houses from Europe, glass perfume bottles, and much more. She also loves cats, so her TV room is decorated entirely with cat figurines, prints, cross-stitches, throw pillows, etc.
Note, all of this stuff was store-bought or received as gifts. MIL is not a creative type, preferring to spend her time reading, gardening, and watching TV. Most of the handmade items, like the cross-stitch cats and the framed drawings and paintings, came from her sister (who is a huge creative -- her Christmas cards are always handmade and beautiful) or her aunt.
Most of the gifts we send her are either decorative items or jewelry (she loves her jewelry), but last October, when we got home from visiting her, I suggested that I make a sparkly diamond art cat for her to put up in her TV room and send it to her for Christmas, in addition to the usual gift. My husband thought it was a great idea, so I ordered the kit (this one in specific) and spent a few hours (three or four sessions of one to two hours apiece) to make it. I sent it off, and then my husband ordered an enamel egg off Amazon for her real gift.
So today, as we were talking about what to get for Mother's Day, my husband told me that MIL, when she'd called to thank us for it, had said that the diamond art cat was pretty but she was upset that I had made it for her instead of sending her the kit for her to put together herself. Then, she received the egg a couple of days later and was happy with that.
And I'm still just going "What???" about it. Frankly, I'm insulted. She actually values the kit itself more than she appreciates the time and effort I put into making something for her.
And who looks at something that someone's made for them and thinks, "They shouldn't have done that. They should have let me do it." It reminded me of a beaded box that her sister made and sent us for Christmas about ten years ago. It was gorgeous, but I didn't think, "I could do that myself -- she should have just sent us the beads and instructions." What I actually did was put the box in the display case and then go buy a book on beaded boxes to learn how to do it myself.
Anyway, my husband has decided to send her a diamond art kit for Mother's Day. And you know, I bet she will never put it together. As I said, she's not a creative type, and the only creative endeavor we've ever seen her attempt -- adult coloring books -- she abandoned after an hour and sent the book and the pencils to me.
Urgh, I'm more upset about this than I really should be. I should go off and practice for the DWFO. But I'll tell you what I won't be doing, ever: making another thing for my MIL.
no subject
Date: 2026-05-06 12:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-05-06 05:15 pm (UTC)In my opinion, she's just incredibly selfish and self-important. When we visit, it's literally hours of sitting on her couch listening to her talk about her life and interests; if we get a chance to talk, she barely listens and changes the subject back to her the first moment we pause to breathe. She requires us to call her on her birthday to wish her a happy birthday, and requires us to call her on OUR birthdays to thank her for whatever she sent us. Sometimes she'll call us on our birthday or anniversary (if we didn't call her first), but gets upset if we ignore the call because we're out to dinner -- how dare we not interrupt our celebration to answer her call?
And two years ago, she'd gotten a new cat and spent most of their phone conversations telling my husband how he (the cat) was too active and she didn't have the energy to play with him all the time. So, for Christmas, he bought her over $100 of automatic cat toys, like a laser pointer that jerks around to make the cat chase it and a fishing pole that waves feathers around, etc. She called him to thank him for them, then said, "Now what are you getting for me?"
Not to mention the time we spent 4+ hours getting home from a 1.5-hour drive because "I know the route" and she refused to listen to what the satnav was telling us.
But you know, most of that is leveled at my husband, so I could afford to be tolerant. This time, it's just, like, can I be done with her?