Aw! Well, it may not be up to your personal standards, but I'm sure some people will see the qualities in it—you're a very good writer, so there's bound to be quite a difference between "argh I'm not happy with this, not at all what I meant and hoped to achieve" and "objectively actually terrible". I'm sorry you feel that way though, when one is taking writing seriously and putting lots of effort in it, that level of disappointment already feels pretty miserable :/